For my grandmother, I have dedicated this post as a memory of you. 
You passed away in August 2019, just two years ago.
You used to cook for me and take very good care of me when I was an innocent small child. Even though you were fierce and scary, but your love for me really touched me. After you were gone, I was overcome with so much grief for two years. I only have closure when I was admitted to IMH recently this year. I spoke to the nurse about my grief and also asked her about my situation. The nurse really soothed me that I did nothing wrong and I was just filial and caring. Then, I feel comforted and I thanked the nurse. 

I really never regretted taking care of you for close to 5 years plus. Even though I was mentally not well, but I still wanted to take care of you. From the time, you are able to walk a short distance till the time you were bedridden, I was always there for you because I knew my mum could not cope with it alone. 
I clothed you carefully, changed your diapers (this is my favourite part), bathed you with love and patience and it was challenging for me but I still did it. Only, in the end, I could not take care of you anymore because my mental health was extremely poor. 

Now, I really miss you. I pray for you every time that you can go to Jannah. And if I am able to set foot in Jannah, I will look for you, run for you and hug extremely tight. And I will be very clingy to you and grandpa in Jannah. We can laugh together and have a conversation. You have been through so much in your life, I am glad that you are can finally rest in peace <3