From 19th March 2021 till 30th March 2021, I was warded in the Institute of Mental Health. I was not aware of my mood fluctuations so I expressed my anger at my parents for bringing me there and channelled my anger to the medical doctor at the A & E. I really could not contain the anger and frustration any longer. It took a very long time to realise that I was having a mental relapse. Well, I was convinced by my parents and the doctor, what else can I say.

 

Despite the confusion, I took the time to maximise my time at the EPIP ward. I spent my time having conversations with the nurses and some of the patients that I am able to connect with. Because I was extremely sad and disappointed that the doctors do not communicate the context of my situation clearly and kept interrogating me endless ridiculous questions that are supposed to be private, I approached an innocent-looking keyboard. I pressed a few keys and it turned quite good. So, I got a bit curious and meddle on different keys to create tones of music and I do have a sense of musicality. So, I got addicted and played the keyboard almost every single day. I played for myself and for the patients in IMH who are experiencing their own darkness. 

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Playing music really helps me to make sense of my emotions and ground me in reality. It is not easy for me to stomach the dark truth of another relapse.

 

Yes, I was wrong as I stopped the medication on my own.

 

And I am disappointed that one of the IMH professional staff, took the chance to communicate her anger and frustration of patients who are non-compliant with medications onto me. I was still wearing my hospital uniform. I was too kind to listen to her from the start till the end and I did not stand up for myself because it was clearly not fair to put the entire weight of blame on me. I feel that she was unprofessional and did not display empathy and was not equipped to give strength-based feedback and this shows the poor patient service treatment in IMH EPIP. I feel that the doctors and this professional staff need to work on their art of communication to influence and persuade people because all of us are people. Patients are people too and there is a need to put us and engage us in real conversations about medications from the start so that we can go to the root cause of non-compliance. This is really important because besides myself, there are others as well who have their own struggles to take medication. It is not wise to put the blame solely on us because we just need the professional to see and hear us. 

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It is not enough for the psychiatrists to just be nice and ask only key questions. It is important to introduce the key mechanisms of medication into the body to the peers who are seeking consultations. This will help us to understand how the medication affects the body and why it is important to manage specific symptoms. When the peers are involved, they will begin to understand the effectiveness and peers have to be supported by the family as well for effective management of medication. If there are peers without family, it is best to provide programs to educate and get them involved in the conversation so that we do not feel that we need to take medication for the sake of it. 

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